no sooner had these words left his mouth, the insane man was ever after relegated to the halls of infamy. I like how infamy isn't the same as shame. it's infamy. You cannot shame an infamous person. He won't give a fuck. Case in point: I knew a guy once who played the bass guitar like it was a ukelele. A complete brainiac? Of course. This man was a genius. But he was known for being that dumb. Soon it was his trademark style. That's infamy. Shame is what you feel when you can't open your beer using your teeth.
Back to our insane asylum fuckwit: The woman in question had asked him whether he had referred to her as a bitch in a previous conversation with another person. He could have said "no". But in a moment of trepid fear he chose to blurt out something that sounded much much worse. This outraged her modesty. And thus she responded in the only way she knew. Ka-slap. Her clutch (a type of woman's purse) connected with his ear and jaw with little force. He looked slightly puzzled. This is what was going on in his head:
Modesty has such varied definitions in different cultures. Take police brutality for example. What's completely legal and acceptable in one country may be grounds for prosecution elsewhere. As men, we don't really know which country we're in when we're talking to women. What's worse is that a man may say something and think he's just paid the woman a compliment. Like telling a woman her hair smells coconutty, and she ends up thinking she smells oily. No hag, we're saying you smells nice. We likes the coconut shampoo. I don't have the exacta statistica but i assume that a man is slapped once every 3 seconds because he's said something that he thought was harmless but a woman thought was outraging her modesty. You know what? I'd like to see the cookie monster's mom slapping him for bad table manners. I tried that shit once with a bowl of cookies when i was 10. When I came out of the coma and asked for her they released my mom from incarceration. Ha, i love the cookie monster with his crazy eyes and his frenzied cookie binges. Here, at 2:30 he loses it:
Once again, after all was said and slapped, the woman walked off in a huff. As we got down to chatting, Mr. Brainiac and I realized that Jennifer's Body (the movie) is a pretty good approximation of your average woman. You know what I mean. When Jennifer feasts on man-flesh she feels normal. When Jennifer feels ill she goes about seducing more man-flesh. And in-between there's the lesbian kissing. Do not take this literally. I'm using this as a metaphor for feminine angst. Hey just to be clear, in no way does this blog condone the practice of human sacrifice. That shit is just evil and completely ix-nay.
Megan Fox ladies and gentlemen
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