Psyche and story

As i grew up and achieved pubescence, a single catch phrase that would roil my sensibilities as a budding linguist was one that is still employed by cricket afficionados to compliment skilled delivery. i shall not utter it here for fear of prudish ostracizing by proper people. not. well balled.

I seem to have found the underlying cause of my suffering. I am unable to reconcile my Id and Superego (apologies for capitalizing). They pull in opposite directions. While my Id is driven by baser pleasures (no, not crack), my Superego possesses an innate altruism and the 2 get into conflict and the bastardly outcome is guilt. The Superego causes it. Guilt is what separates us from psychopaths. Which is why I bought wada pav and samosas for a couple of little urchins today. I find my Ego to be the most detached from both extremes and the one responsible for managing my day-to-day shit. The Ego seems to be entirely taken up with dealing with the external world. The Superego tells the Ego to do good. The Id tells it to look out for numero uno (mygoodself). My Id, it would appear, is extremely hedonistic and wishes to experience every possible sensation, good or bad, hot or cold, male or female. My Superego only wishes to pursue constructive thought, altruism and thereby experience pleasure indirectly. But enough about my inner child. Let's talk gutter.

Ever seen one of those guys who walks around like he owns everything? One of those macho mofos. You know what I do with those guys? I walk up to them and make friends. These are people who are governed by their Id. Both the Ego and the Superego listen to the Id. These people go on to become great conquerors and destroyers of the world. But sometimes their creative side may take inspiration and allow for the flourishing of some of the most beautiful art in history. Case in point: Hannibal Lecter, any cat, demons.

Ever seen one of those fucks who walks around like they're everyone's friend? They fucking are some of the shallowest people imaginable. I am one such fuck. These people feed off of human energy. They only feel good if they are seen as good in the world's eyes. Their sense of self worth depends entirely on environmental feedback. This is the Ego category. This type of person can, at most, revert to the Angel category below, or swing to the demon side of things. They are the most unpredictable.

Now, ever seen an angel? This person may be male or female. But their defining characteristic is their innate nature to help and be kind. It just doesn't matter who they're helping. Case in point: If you've seen Les Miserables (Liam Neeson - Jean Valjean) try to recall the priest who helps Liam out in the beginning. Even when he's being robbed he helps Liam. There do exist such people. I recall reading a story in my 3rd standard textbook about a man who travels to a penurious land to meet the king and offer assistance. He ends up crashing at a farmer's home cuz it gets dark and he has no place to stay. The farmer offers him bread and water for dinner, and he tells the traveller that the whole family will have to eat in the dark because they're short on kerosene (i don't fucking remember if it was kerosene or some other fuel so don't ask). When the traveller offers his lamp, the farmer asks him to save it in case he may need it on his travels. So they all sit down to a dinner of bread and water. Next day this man reaches the king's palace and tells the king of his travels and of the farmer. He indicates to the king that he was rather insulted that the farmer forced him to eat in the dark. He told the king that the miserly ways of his people were to blame for their state of penury. Hearing this the old king smiled benevolently and asked the traveller to take him to the farmer's home. They reached the farmer's home and were welcomed in by the farmer and his wife. The king took the traveller to the farmer's kitchen. There he opened all the containers and found each one empty. Seeing this, the traveller was puzzled as he recalled having eaten breakfast. It was then that the king told him that his people were the opposite of miserly. The previous night there was just enough food to feed one person. The farmer gave all his bread to the traveller and went hungry along with his family. They forced him to eat in the dark so that he would not have to see the farmer and his family sitting at the table, going hungry. The next day they all left early and kept what remaining provisions they had on the table, which the traveller promptly ate. These people keep giving and the sheer act of giving keeps them happy. They care less for much else.

To evaluate which category a boy falls into, simply watch him playing with his friends. If a friend takes a toy away and the boy cries helplessly till he gets his toy back, he is in the Ego category. If he immediately fights for his toy he is in the Id category. And if he smiles at his friend he is in the Superego. Of course these aren't fixed. Depending on the situation the child may let any one of the 3 dominate. However, when you notice a predominance of just one of these 3 traits, you know you have an angel, a conqueror, or a demon.